Assalammualaikum, salam ukhuwah. Thanks for viewing my blog :)

Sunday, 1 July 2012

There's no need anymore

Bismillah, assalammualaikum

Kadang-kadang, kita tak tahu kebenaran kerana kita belum sedia untuk mengetahuinya. kadang-kadang, kerana kita belum cukup kuat. kadang-kadang..  kerana sebenarnya kita belum mampu, untuk tahu. rasa ingin tahu memang menebal, tapi masanya masih belum tepat. mungkin kerana itu.. sesetengah kebenaran itu masih belum dapat kita ketahui. masih tersimpan rapi, dalam rahsia milik Ilahi. terkadang, kerana Dia ingin menguji, keteguhan pengharapan dan kepercayaan seorang hamba dan terkadang, kerana DIA lebih tahu, bahawa sejujurnya.. kita belum mampu untuk mengetahui hakikat kebenaran itu.


Boleh jadi kamu benci kepada sesuatu padahal ia baik bagi kamu, dan boleh jadi kamu suka akan sesuatu padahal ia buruk bagi kamu. Dan (ingatlah), Allah jualah yang Maha Mengetahui (semuanya itu), sedang kamu tidak mengetahuinya. (Al-Baqarah 2:216)

Yeah so maybe i feel kind of bad all of these dramas. But, then again there will be hikmah in everything. Allah knows the best. Sometimes i feel life like a dramas. I'm the actress in the horror movie. Ohh maybe in telenovela Bawang Merah Bawang Putih, the one who's always being teasing by her sister. (But nobody bullying me actually, haha) Keep crying eventhough nobody notice it. Yah, nobody notice about it. Ok, stop with that.

How's life guys? Happy? Haha. Atau sengsara because the tough schedule for SPM (PMR and UPSR too). I'm now chasing my dreams. I learned my limit. I know my weakness. Sometimes I'm emotional. Ok abaikan. Sama ja maksud semua, hehe. I am gratefully for my parents, siblings, teaches and friends. They made me comeback to the Earth when I am serious in reality. Thanks for encouraging me to be good and still put up with me when I rebel against every an each of you all advices. I've been bad. Sorry :)

What I want to share today is about 'Love'. Ahaaa, suka la tuu :p anybody being in love right now? For sure mesti ada kan? Well guys tanak blame mana-mana pihak tapi I wanna share something here. About my crush. Who is it? Haha. No need to mention here la kan. Since dia pun mungkin tak nak Mai letak nama dia sini. Let's call him Capital A. *for those yang tahu, just syhhhhh* hehe.



Mai kenal dia since last year. Macamana kenal? Well, through Facebook. he's the one yang selalu comment status Mai :) He lives far away at peninsular Malaysia, Shah Alam. When I am at Sabah. Ohoo, I'm crush with the person who is thousand miles far away from me. Ok, just that, the rest let me and Allah knows how the story is. He's a Haffiz, you know that right? A person who hafaz the whole Al-Quran. He's kind, nice and sometimes annoying :p haha kiddings. He got the package that I want. Haffiz. You got that the one. Bukan semua orang dapat peluang untuk hafaz Quran, isn't it? Tapi, Allah pilih dia. Untunglah. Dan sebab itulah Mai boleh crush dengan dia. Ini bukan soal Mai kemaruk or what. Ini semua soal 'agama', rebut cinta Allah and so on. This all begins when my ummi want my future husband give the 30 juz of Al-Quran as a mahar during my nikah's day. Ohh Allah, what a big step. Tingginya harapan umi. Mai tak nak lah lebih-lebih sangat, cukuplah kalau lelaki tu ada pegangan agama, boleh bimbing Mai and my future children, berpendidikan, hormat Mai. That's enough. Well, dalam umur belasan tahun ni ummi dah mula share pasal gerbang perkahwinan dengan Mai. Tapi Mai faham and sedar, Mai bukan budak-budak lagi. I'm 17 right now. Kalau dulu-dulu dah boleh jadi mama budak dah. Mai mula kenal dia, but just a little bit. Highlights, Mai terkejut juga bila tahu yang dia ni hafiz.Yahh seriously, tak sampai beberapa hari ummi cakap pasal mahar kahwin tu then Allah takdirkan Mai kenal dengan hafiz. It's FATE. So, we keep contacting each others. Messaging, BBM, chatting and so on. Kitorang makin rapat. Kami pernah jumpa juga kalau dia turun Sabah. Twice. Okay dia tinggi you know, my assumptions la.

Tapi itu long time ago. Now, kitorang masing-masing busy. Dia pun busy with his tahfiz. Tak nak la kacau kan? Since Mai pun busy dengan SPM. LDF aka Long Distance Friendship. Esehhh :p ummi pun tahu sal hal ni and keep teasing me. The best ashamed part bila ummi selalu sebut nama dia everywhere. Ohh goshh -.- maluuuuu ! Lagipun umi tak risau sangat, kami berjauhan. So, jarang jumpa. Nothing to worries. Last week dialogue :

At car, on the way to Suria Sabah :

Ummi : Julai ni kita satu family pi KL.
Me : Errr, what for? Tetiba buang duit pi KL. Dah la time puasa tu.
Ummi : Shopping baju raya la.
Me : Aik? Dekat Sabah tiada ka?
Ummi : Sudah puas umi cari tapi tiada. Pi KL ja lah, banyak choice.
Me : Okayy, mana2 ja. Follow ja ni. Nanti book tiket ja.
Ummi : Yahh, bagitahu *****, nanti sampai KL umi mahu jumpa dia, cerita2 dengan dia. *sambil senyum*
Me : What????????????

Ya allah, mahu tercabut jantung dengar umi cakap ayat tu. How serious she is. I'm speechless. Ok bahagia.

But right now, I feel something different between us. I don't know what and why. I keep crying plus with all the problems. Stress mendatang. I'm weak. Kami tak serapat dulu lagi, entah la maybe faktor masa dan tempat kot. Think positive ja la kan. Then, last night Mai baca blog Kak Dena Bahrin pasal bercinta selepas kahwin. Wonderful love story, subhanallah. Korang bacalah cerita tu kat sini, klik ja link kat bawah ni.

Kak Dena Bahrin's love story


So, lepas Mai baca post Kak Dena tu Mai dah fikir masak-masak. Macam mahu kahwin pula kan? Bila sahabat Mai pun dah bagi Mai semangat. Thanks Syuhada. 

 Right now, I open my heart to not awaits him anymore. I just wait someone to offer the love through parents which will be more barakah like Kak Dena. The time when she was waiting for someone else that she love, someone else pula yang come and meet her parents. And now, Happily Ever After. When halal is awesome. I realized it right now. Kalau dah suka tu teruslah jumpa ummi, kan senang? (syu, pinjam ayat kau sikit)

I thank Allah for everything. I'm grateful for having families and friends around who never stop supporting me. Yes. Allah is the most loving. my zaman that i told you, ''zaman paling buruk , zaman paling jatuh.'' Maka Allah gantikan dengan kisah cinta yang aku sangat tak sangka. Allah gantikan dengan hidup dan perasaan bahagia yang tak terkata . I know, there will be long way to go but all these, it makes me learn better. I learn better, i can think better. Gembira orang lain mampu buat kita gembira, Bahagia ibu bapa mampu buat kita bahagia, berkat restu dan doa keluarga adalah salah satu kunci terbesar hati kita tenang  dan gembira. Allah knows what you do for yourself and others. Allah knows.
If the 'Love' makes you become worse. Let it go. it's hard. Allah knows and He will replace someone better for you. If the Love makes your relationship with family or beloved people worse, turn to Allah for decision, Allah knows the best. If you're in dilemma what you want and what make things better. Have faith in Allah, He knows what you've done.He knows what you've sacrificed. Dan, cinta itu memang perlukan pengorbanan.
and one thing about this is that, Allah saves my heart for someone who deserves it. Allah saves me from facing another heartbroken and that's wonderful because I just can't bear with another heartbroken. Allah is Ar-Rahman & Ar-Rahim. I'm ordinary. I'm not perfect. 
Kak Dena's dialogue with her husband
 Me : " Kenapa awak masuk minang saya? "Him: " Sebab saya jatuh cinta dengan awak & saya tahu awak boleh jadikan saya lelaki yang lebih baik."

Someone who really loves you will show you they want you, will prove that they need you, will remind you they love you. Will put you in the list, " To be in heaven,together,forever."
 Bila kah jodoh itu akan datang semua nya kerja yang maha Esa, Kita manusia cuma jangan berhenti berdoa dan percaya pada kuasa Allah. Bagaimana Allah mampu ciptakan pelbagai perkara berlainan rupa,sifat & personaliti.begitu juga kebahagiaan. Jangan terlalu berfikir sesuatu di luar jangkaan,tapi jangan pernah putus asa pada Allah yang maha memberi kebahagiaan.












banyak kan ayat-ayat and gambar Kak Dena ni? Hehe. Tapi semuanya betul. So, sekarang i'm free. Banyak benda lagi kena fikir. SPM and my future.

Untuk awak, Mr Capital A

Mai masih ingat semua semangat yang awak bagi kat Mai. Supaya jangan putus asa and banyak berusaha. Terima kasih awak sebab jadi sebahagian dari cerita hidup Mai. Mai masih ingat nasihat awak supaya    banyak-banyak solat sunat dhuha supaya pintu rezeki terbuka. Banyak-banyak berdoa sebab Allah takkan biarkan hambanya yang menadah tangan berdoa kepadanya dengan tangan yang kosong kan? Semua tu Mai masih ingat, alhamdulillah Mai masih amalkan. Post ni bukan nak blame awak, tapi saya try untuk memahami awak. Mai tahu awak busy kat sana :) Mai punnnnn :p bukan senang kan nak semat ayat-ayat Allah dalam hati. Takut Mai jadi hijab pula. Ada jodoh takkan ke mana juga kan? I have faith in Allah. So, jom berusaha and berjaya sama-sama. And fly to UK together. Ehh, awak nak pi UK ke? :p tak pa lah Mai ja yang pergi. Nanti datang melawat ja, sehhhh :) doakan Mai sentiasa. Make sure hafaz Quran baik2 and graduate tahun ni. Good Luck awak ! I'm not quit, belum putus asa lagi ni. Walaupun rasa tu dah berkurang :)

dear futurew husband, will you recite my favourite surah an-nissa one day?




Ya Allah. tiupkanlah semangat untuk terus dan terus mencari ilmu.. kuatkanlah hatiku dalam menempuh segala  gulungan ombak, onak dan duri. tabahkanlah hatiku tatkala ingin berjuang.. fisabilillah.

i walk on my path. Hello July and Hello SPM

take care everybody :)

5 comments:

Syuhada Z said...

Girl, Im proud of you =') im proud my name was there too. cehh, takdelahh. Lets wait for someone to offer the love through parents. spya, bila parents redha, Allah pun redha, Marriage Barakah Happily Ever After =')Nmpaknya kita selangkah ke arah matang. hohoo. Welcome Maturity !
"FIRST come to my parents, FIRST accept !"-Syu Z.

The Way I see The Things :) said...

Haha, the deservation according to my parents. Jyeahh ! i'm no longer kids :))) hehe. thanks btw, saja letak nama kau. haha. tp, memang bermotif pun. thanks sahabat :)

SEHA , be the awesome one ♥ said...

as-salam , mai . bestnya entry kw.. mw menangis suda akk baca :')
btw, you're awesome :)

The Way I see The Things :) said...

waalaikumussalam kak. heee :) thanks sebab sudi baca ya? ;)

SEHA , be the awesome one ♥ said...

hee ^^ . wc :)